I hold her hand tight, and hear her talk.
Smitten by her divine smile, as we walk.
I look at the most beautiful eyes ever,
And I cherish it forever.
Her cherry red lips, are like a side dish to her innocence.
I fail to rhyme as drowning in her beauty, I’ve lost my sense.
We walk, and she rests her head on my shoulder.
Maybe to make me warm, maybe she felt colder?
The more she inched closer to me,
The more I felt like crying.
For I knew that this moment was unimaginably precious,
So precious, that it would just fade away, hinted my subconscious.
I feel her hand in mine, I stretch out her palm.
I look into her eyes, pleading silently not to let go.
I knew she wouldn’t, cause I saw, and felt the love, the crave for me.
But maybe sometimes, you lose yourself a bit too much into yonder land, and it is reality that you fail to see.
She looks desperately into my eyes, she wants to be with me forever.
My love plants a kiss on my right cheek, and helps me walk through this endeavour.
She tells me not to worry, and the feeling of bliss, is incomparable.
She said, ‘Sweetheart you’re mine, and I’m yours, and we, are inseparable.’
I wake up. I look around.
I feel my bed, I run to wash my face.
I look at myself in the mirror, oh god, not again!
Can I ever stop dreaming about her?
Forget about forgetting, she just seems to get closer.
My heart is pacing, it hurts, and I’m back to this bitch of a reality.
I can’t think, I feel dizzy, I turn around,
A freight train blasts in, it hits me.
I wake up. I’m panting hard, it was another dream, my mind, I can feel it rot.
I fall to the floor cause I feel like the world is spinning.
Its like my mind is being devoured by worms, my brain squeezed.
I don’t know whom to talk to. They’d think I’m crazy.
I think I’m crazy. Maybe even know it by now.
I craved for something of hers. I wanted her.
A photo maybe? Her handwriting? Or my books she’s touched?
I rummaged through my room, but I couldn’t find a thing.
I was devastated, I remember, and I destroyed everything.
I had to see her, look at her, and be with her, I was gonna get destroyed.
I made myself believe I can live alone, for its been years, I’ve not seen, heard, or touched her.
I know I don’t love her.
I’m a bad guy, I made a lot of mistakes that weren’t forgiven.
She let go, and left me, maybe she really doesn’t deserve me?
No, it can’t happen. That’s an insult to her divine mind and beauty, I, I, frickin don’t deserve her.
Mate, its time I get over her.
My mind laughs cruelly and it tells me I’m a slave to her love.
It tells me this is the nth time I’m reacting like this.
It tells me I look out for her every step I take, out on the roads.
Just hoping to bump into her?
Hahah you stupid fool.
I snap out.
I feel like I’m being taken over, ruled over by what destroyed me two years ago, love.
I want her. Now. But I won’t get her, ever.
Maybe I have to live with this for god knows how long.
But I’m sure of one thing, my love was, and is true.
And I can dream a million more, just to make myself believe, that she’s mine.
Hell, I’d choose living those moments on repeat, for the rest of my life, even if its just in a dream.
I’m sweating, I’m thinking too much.
I need to rest, I’m shivering, hell its cold, I crawl into my bed.
I’m breathing heavily, with tears in my eyes.
The world around me spins faster, everything fades away.
I know I don’t love her, I don’t.
I’ve turned into a ruthless, rude, stone hearted insensitive prick of a person.
I have to deal with it, and so do you.
We’re all egoistic hypocrites.
She ain’t no angel, she’s a disguised, hideous, insidious devil, don’t you think?
She is the reason I have this condition.
She is the reason I’m not happy right now.
She is the reason, my god damned life has changed!
I need water, things seem hazy, a deafening tone screeches in my mind.
I can hear people vigorously scratching their nails against the wall.
I let out a cry of agony, and eventually fall asleep.
‘Hey my love, how are you today?’
She asks and kisses my forehead.
I look back smiling, and say,
‘I’m fine, sweetheart. You’re mine. I’m yours. And we’re inseparable.’
This song noticeably enough, is inspired by Cristopher Nolan’s way of directing his movies, like say Inception. The dream phase of the poem has a more poetic approach to it, whereas the reality part of it can be regarded as recital.
This was written by me, last year, November 16th. I had posted it in my facebook notes before posting it here.
My official facebook page – http://www.facebook.com/BetweenMyMindAndMe
Between My Mind And Me 