Goodnight, I love you, sent she.

Love you too,

He replied.

And that was the last.

The last time they spoke.

It felt like a normal morning,

He got ready for his bath,

And got to his daily dose of singing.

As always, he played the soothing melody,

It was her favourite too,

And sometimes a laugh,

With a parody.

Hours later,

She got back from work,

With an unceasing smile,

But she did feel,

That somewhere near,

Death did lurk.

Before she clicked open the door,

It was her ill mom who called,

And pleaded her to be at her’s by four.

She felt the chill of death yet again,

As she got out into the mist,

It began to rain.

Till the clock struck 12,

She took care of her mother.

Back in her house,

There was a lot to bother.

Havoc, police, and neighbours scared out of their wits.

They banged open the door,

And the sweet melody still played.

They broke into the bathroom,

All they found was a pool of blood in the tub,

Where he met his doom.

He lay there,

A gunshot in his chest,

It was murder.

She was fully unaware,

Back with her mom,

Treated her with love and care.

They never believed in goodbyes,

As agony awaits,

Back in her place,

Her heart still said,

‘Our love never dies.’

Nobody informed her,

As this would injure her heart,

With just no cure.

The body was taken,

Furnitures covered,

Dreams broken.

The house was locked.

Only thing alive was the clock,

And the sound of the armchair swaying.

It felt like someone was sitting there,

Staring out into the city,

Trying to scream out to her,

Please come back!

This just aint fair!

She sent him a text,

‘Hey sweetheart, how are you?

How is it there?

Yes, I’m missing you. :)’

She had no clue,

That death lurking in the corner,

Was nothing but true.

She sent another text,

‘I’ll be back by tomorrow,

Goodnight, sweet dreams.’

But this time,

Her phone vibrated,

It was a message from his number.

‘Everything fine here,

Just dont worry,

Just dont fear,

Stay with your mother,

Don’t come here.

You’re better off there,

For my sake love,

For your mother,

Needs your care.’

Years later and still,

She never knew he was dead,

But still never went against his will.

She never did go back,

To that house as he pleaded,

She never visited the empty house.

Where there was no key to the lock,

Tick tock, said the clock,

And the armchair still did rock.

The wind blew hard,

Making sounds, like his whispers.

The sweet melody still played,

Which now sounded like remorse.



(Lyrics in the picture are from Pearl Jam’s Last Kiss)

This was a poem I wrote two years back.

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I hold her hand tight, and hear her talk.
Smitten by her divine smile, as we walk.
I look at the most beautiful eyes ever,
And I cherish it forever.
Her cherry red lips, are like a side dish to her innocence.
I fail to rhyme as drowning in her beauty, I’ve lost my sense.
We walk, and she rests her head on my shoulder.
Maybe to make me warm, maybe she felt colder?
The more she inched closer to me,
The more I felt like crying.
For I knew that this moment was unimaginably precious,
So precious, that it would just fade away, hinted my subconscious.
I feel her hand in mine, I stretch out her palm.
I look into her eyes, pleading silently not to let go.
I knew she wouldn’t, cause I saw, and felt the love, the crave for me.
But maybe sometimes, you lose yourself a bit too much into yonder land, and it is reality that you fail to see.
She looks desperately into my eyes, she wants to be with me forever.
My love plants a kiss on my right cheek, and helps me walk through this endeavour.
She tells me not to worry, and the feeling of bliss, is incomparable.
She said, ‘Sweetheart you’re mine, and I’m yours, and we, are inseparable.’

I wake up. I look around.
I feel my bed, I run to wash my face.
I look at myself in the mirror, oh god, not again!
Can I ever stop dreaming about her?
Forget about forgetting, she just seems to get closer.
My heart is pacing, it hurts, and I’m back to this bitch of a reality.
I can’t think, I feel dizzy, I turn around,
A freight train blasts in, it hits me.

I wake up. I’m panting hard, it was another dream, my mind, I can feel it rot.
I fall to the floor cause I feel like the world is spinning.
Its like my mind is being devoured by worms, my brain squeezed.
I don’t know whom to talk to. They’d think I’m crazy.
I think I’m crazy. Maybe even know it by now.
I craved for something of hers. I wanted her.
A photo maybe? Her handwriting? Or my books she’s touched?
I rummaged through my room, but I couldn’t find a thing.
I was devastated, I remember, and I destroyed everything.
I had to see her, look at her, and be with her, I was gonna get destroyed.
I made myself believe I can live alone, for its been years, I’ve not seen, heard, or touched her.
I know I don’t love her.
I’m a bad guy, I made a lot of mistakes that weren’t forgiven.
She let go, and left me, maybe she really doesn’t deserve me?
No, it can’t happen. That’s an insult to her divine mind and beauty, I, I, frickin don’t deserve her.
Mate, its time I get over her.

My mind laughs cruelly and it tells me I’m a slave to her love.
It tells me this is the nth time I’m reacting like this.
It tells me I look out for her every step I take, out on the roads.
Just hoping to bump into her?
Hahah you stupid fool.

I snap out.
I feel like I’m being taken over, ruled over by what destroyed me two years ago, love.
I want her. Now. But I won’t get her, ever.
Maybe I have to live with this for god knows how long.
But I’m sure of one thing, my love was, and is true.
And I can dream a million more, just to make myself believe, that she’s mine.
Hell, I’d choose living those moments on repeat, for the rest of my life, even if its just in a dream.

I’m sweating, I’m thinking too much.
I need to rest, I’m shivering, hell its cold, I crawl into my bed.
I’m breathing heavily, with tears in my eyes.
The world around me spins faster, everything fades away.
I know I don’t love her, I don’t.
I’ve turned into a ruthless, rude, stone hearted insensitive prick of a person.
I have to deal with it, and so do you.
We’re all egoistic hypocrites.
She ain’t no angel, she’s a disguised, hideous, insidious devil, don’t you think?
She is the reason I have this condition.
She is the reason I’m not happy right now.
She is the reason, my god damned life has changed!

I need water, things seem hazy, a deafening tone screeches in my mind.
I can hear people vigorously scratching their nails against the wall.
I let out a cry of agony, and eventually fall asleep.

‘Hey my love, how are you today?’
She asks and kisses my forehead.
I look back smiling, and say,
‘I’m fine, sweetheart. You’re mine. I’m yours. And we’re inseparable.’


This song noticeably enough, is inspired by Cristopher Nolan’s way of directing his movies, like say Inception. The dream phase of the poem has a more poetic approach to it, whereas the reality part of it can be regarded as recital.

This was written by me, last year, November 16th. I had posted it in my facebook notes before posting it here.

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Link  —  Posted: March 11, 2013 in Uncategorized
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Five years. Five years into the genre and there is still an endless sea of music to explore. 7 years back, I started listening to Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, Deep Purple and such classic acts. But 5 years from today I decided metal is my thing, my identity. It was right then when Music, and most importantly Metal, played an extremely supportive role in my life. It gave me hope, strength, and a dark alter-ego to myself, which was very much needed. Metal music has recreated me into a much more mature, strong and all in all, a better person. And I, never cared about what others listened to, or others’ opinions on what I listen to.


But, Metal is slowly becoming the meaning behind the picture above.

In these few years, I have found that a lot of people claim to be a ‘Metalhead’ considering it to be cool or to ‘fit in the scene’. On the other side of the fence there are the ‘old school metalheads’ feeling insecure that Metal is being ‘killed’ by new ventures like the newly brought to fame, “Djent” music and core music. Tag lines like ‘Core music is for emo fags’ became more like a fashion, with no necessity. Amidst this fight between ‘Real Metal’ and ‘Fake Metal’, there are fans like me who are sandwiched in between, just to witness this horrendous treatment of my genre where respect is given least value and other selfish desires, more. Needless to say, every coin has two sides to it and I have to exclaim, with a wrenched heart that there are a lot of new schoolers who actually fail to respect the bands without which there would be no new bands that they follow! Respect should flow from both sides, equally, to form a state of equilibrium.

I thought Metal was a genre of the outsiders? I thought it is the genre which is ‘different’ from the others and that’s why not ‘universally well accepted’? Well guess what, it looks like we’re coming back to square one. There is this part of the community that doesn’t accept and respect the newer sub-genres in Metal, making the latter, now the outsiders.

The very reason that we implement, while fighting for Metal, is spreading like an epidemic, creating a whole world of oxymorons, hypocrites and contradictions where scenes like the Core scene is now the genre of the outsiders, the genre which is not accepted, and the genre which is, where ‘Real Metal’ once was. I don’t believe in dissing a band and spreading hatred related to them just because I don’t like it. Many people wish to be born in the 80s because they think that the music back then was ‘real’ people with ‘real’ talent. I’m not saying that, in fact I like both the eras equally. The only reason I would like to be born in the 80s (excluding the glam vs thrash genre brawl) is because of the fans. From what I hear, fans then were much more supportive, united, and most of all, restricted their judgement within themselves. NOT shoving opinions down one another’s throats.

As different metal bands try different things, the fanbase tends to have a narrow-minded opinion on the experimentation. Mind you, they’re playing metal because they love it, and not for us. Then what different are we from the society if things are done for success and not passion? Experimentation is a risk taken by the musicians and not a trump card to sell out. Eg: Metallica, The Faceless, etc. So stop cribbing, move on and listen to something that suits your taste. You’d rather go support your local band who are working their asses off, rather than sitting in front of the computer and crib along like a kid deprived of candies.

I’ve always noticed a problem of insecurity and bigotry in us metalheads. Going out of your way to put down someone’s opinions and trying to show that we are more superior is a terrible thought in itself. Another sad problem we face is when a band gains mainstream success, it is flooded with hatred. Well, the band has now been accepted by a larger crowd, so what?! We tend to contradict ourselves by saying that metal is only a culture of the outsiders and is hated by everyone else, but when it does get accepted by a larger fanbase in the world, we still have a problem? Tch, tch.

Metal that was meant to ‘unite’ people and what is often called the ‘Metal Brotherhood’, just like how bands like Arch Enemy and Manowar boast of, and just like how different people with different opinions and thoughts come as one and mosh in one pit, now seems more like a raging battlefield. From attacking bands at a concert to spreading hatred on the social networking site, the Metal world that I knew, or rather thought of to be a ‘Listen to what you like and shut up’ community which gained so much respect in my life, is slowly coming to a dead end. I feel aghast, appalled, disgusted, and most of all, heart broken to see the fans of this genre, not paying enough respect or value to how it has changed not only me, but a million other people into a better, and stronger person.

Lastly I’d say, just like how the ‘Real Metal’ world wanted to be accepted by the rest of the world, similarly, the bands playing the newer genres wish for approval too. Don’t we know how it feels to not be accepted? Is it that tough to even respect a god damn band, others’ opinions and tastes? Is it that tough to share what we were fighting for, a few decades back? Is it so tough for you all to listen to what you like and shut up, ignoring the rest? And most of all, just to be yourself and not try to fit into any kind of scene to be “cool”? I don’t think so.

Now a large part of the community hates Slipknot but seriously, this deserves a mention.
“Now I’m not pretty and I’m not cool
But I’m fat and I’m ugly and proud – so fuck you”, taken from “I Am Hated” by Slipknot.

For those who care, I thank you for taking your time to read this and I do hope you can change the mindset of a lotta people out there. And for those who don’t care, you should ask yourself if you can live in a house that is infested with wild, toxic weeds and just stay cool about it. I can’t, and I did, and am doing my best to exterminate this parasite.

The only day I will be satisfied with what’s happening with my genre is when Metal is back to what it was supposed to be like. United.

I dont expect it to be a brotherhood because people are different and negativity is a part and parcel of life but we’d rather keep it to ourselves than start a shitstorm or add fuel to the fire yeah?

‘A group of people who listen to heavy, strong music, supporting a group of people playing heavy, strong music, Not necessarily united by opinions or tastes, but by the community we all exist in.’ That’s what I think.

I promote a lot of under-exposed metal in my own ways so if anybody is interested just have a look at my ‘About’ section.

EDIT : This is my reply to a few very common reactions I’ve got from this article. 

1. “This used to happen way back. It is nothing new.” – Well this article isn’t a war between the old and new era, this article was written because a particular problem disturbed me and is disturbing the image of metal to newcomers.

2. “Stop whining, listen to what you like and show your metal horns!” – Yes, that’s exactly what I’m requesting others to do. I’m not whining here, like I said in the above answer, the aforementioned problem is disrupting the image of metal.

3. “Stop trying to fuse core with metal music. You listen to Slipknot and A7x, you have no say.” – This article is exactly for people like you. I know what is metal and what isn’t. Asking Alexandria isn’t metal whereas a deathcore band like TBDM or All Shall Perish is surely a metal band. Either way, that is not at all the point I was trying to convey. And yes, I listen to Slipknot and A7x. I might not be listening to them much nowadays, as I’m totally into listening to under exposed bands, (currently Spiral Architect, Myrath, Mithras, Time Requiem and such) BUT, I respect them for lending a helping hand in  cementing metal as a spot in my life as my favourite genre.

4. “Stop hating on elitism, stop adding fuel to the fire, and stop trying to make metal a hippy brotherhood” – Hahaha, this one is the best of all. I’m all for elitism and if you’re an elitist, I’m obviously nobody to judge you. I’m not judging anyone here and am fighting against it really. Publicly hating on bands, and elitism has its hundred differences, and so does disliking a band. I dislike Blood on the Dance Floor and Black Veil Brides but I wont go about ranting on how they sound terrible publicly, unnecessarily. And no, I’m not asking the metal community to turn into a brotherhood, but you’d rather agree to disagree than initiate a raging battlefield, yeah?

P.S – I’m very open to sensible criticism and trolls are hilarious.

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It was roughly five years back, that I got into my favourite thrash metal band of all time, Testament. And I was hooked on since then. After the release of their new album this year, my bond with the band just strengthened as I bought their limited edition Dark Roots t-shirt, they shared my review of their album, and obviously the best of all, I watched them live.

15th December, 2012 is engraved in my heart as the best day of my life, so far. After meeting, and interviewing Gojira just the previous day, and the transportation problem I faced just before a good friend decided to let me hop in, I was famished already. While the opening band was playing really well, I couldn’t help but lock my eyes on Chuck Billy who occasionally appeared at the side of the stage. He is if not the best, easily the most versatile and my personal favourite thrash vocalist, well, duh. After the opening act was done, and when Testament at last, came on stage, I was stunned. Throughout these five years, I was just listening to these guys, and dreaming of watching them live but now, they’re barely a few metres away from me. The set started off with the “crowd’s song” off their new album Dark Roots of Earth, Rise Up! It was like we were all hypnotized to sing along with Chuck and it was an overwhelming feel.

It started getting crazy when Alex Skolnick, one of the best, yet under rated guitarists ever, started playing the solo. I, was moved to tears. I started crying like a girl, when I witnessed that very guitaring that I used to air guitar to! I was left in a daze and watched the whole set being performed and cherished every moment of it. I moshed out to their old school, “perfect-for-mosh” tracks, Over the Wall, and Into the Pit.

Meanwhile, Chuck actually came down from the stage, climbed onto the barricade and started headbanging with the crowd, and that was exactly when I held his huge, left arm and shook his hand. Another classic moment for me to cherish for a long, long time to come. Just when they ended their set and Chuck’s plectrum throws were out of reach, Hernandez, their touring drummer threw his drumstick that fell a few rows behind me. Shockingly enough, just a few seconds later, I could feel something under my shoe. It was the drumstick! I held onto it tightly and threw myself to the ground. About a dozen people jumped on me, like we were playing rugby, and all I could do was protect the drumstick like it was my baby and scream that it was mine. After a couple of my friends helped me get up, a few came up to me and congratulated me. Boy, am I lucky or what!

After a whole day of headbanging and moshing, it was a very emotional moment to rewind those things back in the head, as I marched out of the venue with my priceless souvenir. Chuck promised to come back next year, and I will do my small bit of spreading their music to a larger mass. It felt like I belonged there, like a fish back in water. Where you can dress the way you want, and be yourself. Where you don’t need to be anyone else but yourself and all that everyone cares about, is support, and unity. Metal for life!

I can never compress this experience into words, but I did my best to put it across to you all.

And as Chuck Billy said at the gig – “You fuckin’ metalheads, all the same all across the world”

Last, but not the least, I would like to thank Bacardi NH7 Weekender, without whom this gig wouldn’t be possible!

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Metal confronts what we’d rather ignore.

Metal celebrates what we’d often deny.

Metal indulges in what we fear the most.

And that’s why, metal will always be a culture of the outsiders!


When these words were said by Sam Dunn during the ending of the Metal documentary, “Metal : A Headbanger’s Journey”, I could feel the hair stand up on the back of my neck. I was introduced to metal by my father at the age of 12 or so, if you exclude my years of classic rock and classic metal. My first three metal bands being Deep Purple, Iron Maiden, and Judas Priest. Ironically enough, it was this very father who beat me up (understandably so, anyone would get pissed off if their son listened to death metal at the age of 12 especially if that person does not understand death metal) and deleted every song from my Ipod that had explicit language in it because he caught me listening to Cannibal Corpse back in 8th grade.

And today, I walk around proud, wearing my Butchered At Birth t-shirt in the open. People stare, and some even wonder if I’m some kind of antisocial being. But all I do, is laugh. Anyone else would try and say that they’re normal, just like the rest. But we, metalheads? We are one of a kind, and I’m proud of that.

Listening to Cannibal Corpse doesn’t make me antisocial at all, and neither am I glorifying these subjects. Listening to death metal is just like an audio version of a horror movie, with music in it, and either way, nobody is naive enough to believe in it or take it seriously. Although, there are exceptions of metal actually causing havoc in the society, *cough* Varg *cough*. But can anybody name something which has no alter-ego to it?

If metal SPEAKS about killing and such things, there is religion that actually DOES it in the name of god! In my country, people hurt themselves and “sacrifice” animals just to seek salvation? Salvation is something where one can get only in utopia. Preservation from destruction and evil is inevitably impossible in this world, and like Dio would say,

The world is full of Kings and Queens 
Who blind your eyes then steal your dreams 
…it’s Heaven and Hell, oh well

And THAT is what we aren’t afraid to accept! Irrespective of whether one believes in Satan or God, one should accept the fact of life, which includes the dark things that the society out there neglects. In a world filled with bigger problems like corruption, religious exploitation, and much more, Metal is made to be just another scapegoat whereas that same finger should be pointed right at yourself! In this hypocritical world, the majority just flocks in, like sheep in the herd. Thus, remaining a coward.

Metal, on the contrary, has saved many lives. For millions out there, it is their fuel to drive past the day. This kind of music accepts the world the way it is. It is all about opening people’s eyes to the truth. I personally connect with metal music because of its uniqueness, its bold musicality and lyrical themes, its immense versatility and diversity, and to top it all, the vast outlook on how to interpret things, that is solely based upon your mindset. With a million subgenres to juggle around, metal easily reigns as the most diverse genre ever! So I could go on has to how metal is one of the most beautiful things I have ever come across but if I had someone put a gun to my head to make it short, I’d say,

“Listening to metal music is like the most adventurous, deep and meaningful voyage filled with umpteen discoveries that the world outside will never unveil.”

And with that, I’m open to listening to any kind of metal music as long as it has the spirit, and zest in it to make it what metal music is now. Your opinion about metal might not have changed by reading this article, and if not, I really don’t care. But if you really are interested in exploring metal music, worry not, for you have the rest of your life to explore the largest sea in the world, the sea of metal. I would like to conclude by taking an excerpt from the same movie I started with,

“Ever since I was 12 years old, I had to defend my love for heavy metal against those who say it’s a less valid form of music. My answer now is that you either feel it or you don’t. If metal doesn’t give that overwhelming surge of power that make the hair stand up at the back of your neck, you might never get it, and you know what? That’s okay, because judging by the 40,000 metalheads around me we’re doing just fine without you.”

NOTE – I have NOT written this article with an aim to glorify myself as a human, but just to merely make the common man understand metal. We are all equal. Cheers.

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Adult Pi Patel: So which story do you prefer? 
Writer: The one with the tiger. That’s the better story. 
Adult Pi Patel: Thank you. And so it goes with God.
Writer: [smiles] It’s an amazing story.


This part of the movie has intrigued many, while the rest have happened to just look past the meaning behind it. The film was well received as a visual spectacle, but little could people fish out the twist in the story which was expertly layered by director Ang Lee. This dialogue reigns as one of the best from any movie, in my book. Ang Lee has successfully created a close-to-masterpiece film from what seemed like a mountainous task.

Now, to the point. The story Pi tells the Japanese investigators is not fake, but is actually the real story. The phrase, “And so it goes with god” goes back as a reply to the writer’s question fired at Pi, somewhere in the middle of the movie about his belief in god. What I could comprehend from the whole scenario is that, if someone can believe in something so superficial that religion has become today, then why not the story with the tiger? So basically, the story with the cook, his mom and him is the real, and more logical story where Pi becomes a cannibal in order to survive and hence, the tiger reference. Although the one with the tiger is visually stunning, the truth is that the cook, a.k.a the Hyena, killed his mother, a.k.a the Orangutan and Pi, a.k.a the tiger, killed the hyena. It was the need to survive that made him this vicious and wild, to gain the soul like that of a tiger. So just like how the story with the tiger is the fake one, he tries to say that god as it has become today is more fake than real. I got this feeling because of the path he took, when asked about which religion he wanted to believe in. Just like every other kid, he was baffled as to what to choose and most of us Indians are not even given that choice, so he eventually chooses to believe in every religion.

Ultimately, for people who believe in God as the religions that stand today, the tiger story is believable.
But if you believe in no particular religion and in mere facts itself, then the fake story is real.
So I, choose the latter, for that makes more sense. What about you?

NOTE : This is based on the movie, NOT on the book. Neither have I paid much attention to the technicalities/details of the two stories so you would do yourself a favour by paying attention to the philosophical emphasis that I have brought about. Cheers.

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Link  —  Posted: December 10, 2012 in Uncategorized
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